All the Feels

Heck. It has been a long time since I wrote anything. I’ve missed writing so it feels good to get back into it. I want to apologize for vanishing for such a long time. I probably did the worst thing and announced my pregnancy and then locked myself away from the amazing online family I have. I discovered this really weird guilt which scared me from posting or writing. You see, I created Oh Novaries so I could connect with women who had fertility concerns and share my story and the stories of others, so I almost felt I had done the wrong thing by getting pregnant. I had this guilt whenever I got a message from someone asking how the pregnancy was going or saying congratulations. So I just didn’t log onto to Oh Novaries. I avoided it. This worked for a while, but I actually missed my little online family. But then I would get stuck in this cycle of not knowing what to post and where to start, so would log out. 

BUT here I am. Writing. I am back. 

I wanted to start with saying thank you to every single one of you who has congratulated me or sent me a lovely message. Whether it was a comment, message, card or hug, these bits of encouragement have meant so much to me and I have loved every single one. 

When I announced my pregnancy on Oh Novaries, I was so nervous. I wrote so many different drafts and versions of the post because I was worried about the response. What if people felt I was a fake and this whole endo thing was a lie? What if people were angry at me? But you know what the response was: it was love and excitement. So many people were happy for me and the support I received online was overwhelming. Endo guilt was a real thing for me. I didn’t think it would be, and it really confused/shocked me when I felt guilty for getting pregnant. But because I saw and heard all these stories of women with endo not being able to fall pregnant, then finding out I was, I was left with a whole lot of feels. I was so happy to have discovered this life inside me but was also filled with sadness for all the women who are struggling to get pregnant. I felt like all of a sudden my endo wasn’t real, or I shouldn’t talk about it because I had no right to. But after a bit of time, I realized, I still have a right and just because I am pregnant, doesn’t mean my journey isn’t worthy. 

So, what will happen with Oh Novaries? That is a great question and the answer is…I don’t know. I am still trying to work out what it will look like and where it will go. I am still super passionate about women’s health and fertility, however, I will admit, my thoughts have also shifted to be a little more baby focussed these days. 

This was the cake topper we had at our Baby Shower. Isn’t it the cutest thing ever?!

I thought I would ask you guys. What would you like to see? I have so many stories I want to share with you but I am aware of the emotions surrounding pregnancy and infertility/fertility. I would love to share some of my pregnancy stories and the highs and lows which have been involved. But I don’t know if that is what you are interested in. So hit me up! Give me some feedback and I will go from there. Simply comment below or hit me up on one of my socials.

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